In this January / February 2012 Issue

Interview: How Swedish Granddads Won School Children’s Hearts

Study: Spiritual Orientation Bolsters Aging Process

Interview: Older Adults Show Resilience in Flood Disaster

Report: Wanted: Policy for the Arts in Older Age

 

Roundup:

• Elders Join Occupy Wall Street
• See You at the Craft Café
• Planning for Life After the Car
• Memoirs are Made of This

One man’s offer to help a handicrafts teacher at a school mushroomed into a national program boasting 1,000 class “granddads” in schools across Sweden today.

The program was recently profiled in an article by Dr. Ann-Kristin Boström, director of education in the Swedish National Agency for Education and special advisor for the Swedish Ministry of Education and Research. Boström is currently a research fellow at Encell, National Centre for Lifelong Learning at Jönköping University in Sweden.

The article appeared online in the Journal of Intergenerational Relationships (Aug. 30, 2011).

To learn more, AHB caught up with Dr. Boström in Stockholm, Sweden.

Ruth Dempsey: This is a wonderful program, and it all started with one volunteer. Is that right?

Ann-Kristin Boström: Yes, he was especially thinking of the boys and their need to have adult men as role models because there were many female teachers in the school.

RD: So what do granddads do in the classroom?

AKB: Granddads help out in all kinds of ways. They do whatever needs to be done, under the direction of the teacher. So, for example, they assist individual pupils with their work and accompany students during excursions outside the school. They help pupils solve conflicts. They accompany students during their breaks and in the dining hall at lunch. They also help “new ones” adjust to their new school and feel secure.

RD: Do they need any special qualifications?

AKB: In the early days, the project group interviewed the prospective granddad to find him the right school and to see if he was interested in supporting children in a positive way.

For several years now, granddads have been required to take a semester course, which introduces them to the basics of education and includes work in a school setting. A mix of theory and practice is important. If they pass the exam, they are certified Klassmorfar (class granddad) and receive a certificate.

RD: What do pupils say about the class granddad?

AKB: The small ones like him very much and follow him around during breaks because they feel safe. Teenagers give him the thumbs up because he is not a parent or a teacher, so there is no pressure from him. He is just there to listen and help when needed.

RD: And what do teachers appreciate most about the class granddad?

AKB: They can focus on teaching and help the students that have special needs. They like that he can accompany them for activities outside the school. It’s also nice to have another adult in the classroom to share conversation.

RD: You say the Swedish education system is constructed in a way that promotes lifelong learning. How so?

AKB: For example, the granddads get their education by going to courses at different Folk High Schools. Folk high schools are a form of popular education that receive state subsidies while remaining free to develop their own programs. The granddads do not have to pay. They are eligible for the course if they have been unemployed for a period of time and they want to have another role in society.

RD: It’s amazing how the program has grown: from one to 1,000 granddads. How did it attract so many volunteers?

AKB: A happy mix of circumstances. There is a need from the schools for more adults. And some adults, for various reasons, are looking for new opportunities – a new role.

The class granddads talk about feeling needed in the schools as supports, as listeners and as comforters. They say they have gained an expanded social network with other adults at the school and very positive energy from the pupils.

RD: There is now a national association: “Class Granddads for Children.” What does it do?

AKB: The aim of the Granddads program is to promote the development of children and enrich their lives.

The national organization supports the program by maintaining official political and bureaucratic contacts and holding meetings with the regional offices twice during the year.

The regional offices play a hands-on role ensuring granddads get the required education and certification. They work hard to create successful matches: the right man for the right school. Today there are granddads working in classrooms from preschool to upper secondary schools.

RD: Clearly, the program has been a resounding success. What do you see as some of the benefits?

AKB: In Sweden, as in other parts of the industrialized world, older and younger people are, to a large extent, distanced from one another. This intergenerational program brings them together and contributes to social capital.

Teachers say the program helps build bridges between the generations and improves the quality of life for the pupils by helping them feel secure in school.

The men very much enjoy spending time with the younger generation and are energized by their contact. So, it’s a win-win.

With extreme weather events on the rise around the world, researchers are turning their attention to the needs of older people in disaster situations.

New research offers a glimpse into the lives of flood victims 14 months after flooding caused major damage to Kaitaia, a town in the far north region of New Zealand in 2007. Robyn Tuohy and Christine Stephens from Massey University in New Zealand found that older adults used their past experiences or biographical capital and their sense of personal identity to maintain resilience in the crisis.

Tuohy, the lead investigator, is a doctoral student at the Joint Centre for Disaster Research/ School of Psychology at Massey University.

The research appeared online in the Journal of Aging Studies (July 19, 2011).

AHB reached Robyn Tuohy in Wellington, New Zealand.

Ruth Dempsey: The adults in the study were evacuated from their homes because of rising floodwaters in the small North Island township of Kaitaia. Can you describe them for me?

Robyn Tuohy: There were nine participants in all: four males and five females. Five of them lived independently in the community. Actually, they all lived in council owned seniors flats on a single street. They ranged in age from late 60s to late 70s. The other four participants were residents of a rest home. These were aged from mid-70s to late 80s.

RD: "Brenda", who lived in one of the council flats, seemed unaware of the danger until she noticed flashing lights and saw the firemen . . .

RT: There was no advance warning, which may have been one reason.

RD: What did she do?

RT: Brenda was an independent woman, but the emergency evacuation in the dark frightened her.

After she received the fireman’s warning to evacuate, she went into her flat intending to organize things. But she did not gather items together and shift important items to a higher level, as she had done in a previous flood.

She wanted to get out of her flat immediately because she did not know how close the levee was to overflowing. All she took with her was a pair of track pants and her medication. She just got in her car and drove away.

During the interview, Brenda emphasized adapting to life after the flood: "Like as I say, people thought that I would be shattered [referring to the flood] you know, and I think because of the life I’ve led I wasn’t, and because I had insurance . . ."

RD: "Kaye", another tenant, was coping with the death of her daughter when the disaster hit . . .

RT: That’s right. Kaye came to Kaitaia two years before the flood. She was in poor health and her daughter offered to look after her, but five months later her daughter died.

RD: How did you find her a year later?

RT: The flood hit Kaye hard. She was shocked that she had lost so many possessions, including her bed and clothing.

Worst of all, she lost her treasured wool and pattern collection, which was a huge part of her life.

Kaye talked about how people helped one another after the flood. "And a lot of people I didn’t know have now become my friends and some of them are here [in the nearby flats], most of us in here are flood victims, and we have all got to know each other."

In fact, when the residents returned to their refurbished flats, they instituted monthly dinner outings and special birthday events.

RD: "Bill" was able to provide assistance to emergency personnel . . .

RT: Bill was the youngest person in the rental community, and provided everyday practical assistance such as changing light bulbs for his older neighbours. He was aware of which residents were the most vulnerable in the flood and, initially, he assisted emergency personnel to access their flats.

RD: Bill lost his car and his furniture. He refused to allow the authorities to remove the two armchairs that had belonged to his mother . . .

RT: Yes, Bill was able to disinfect and hose down the two chairs and hide them at a friend’s place.

He lost possessions going back more than 50 years, including all the photographs from his years in the navy.

Still, Bill said the turmoil did not affect him as much as it did some of the others: "I was in the navy for a very long time, so the stress it affected the others in the flats, but it didn’t me, ‘cos stress was part and parcel of the job."

RD: What about the people in the rest home?

RT: All the residents were evacuated. Frail residents spent the night at the local hospital. Those who were more mobile were evacuated to the local school.

The staff cared for residents until they returned to the home the following day. As it turns out, the rest home escaped the floodwaters.

RD: You interviewed several of the people from the home, including "Tom". What do you know about him?

RT: Tom had been widowed for 20 years. Over time, he became lonely in the community and decided to move to a rest home. His children worried the home was not the place for him because he was outward-looking and interested in world events. But he stuck to his decision and has been happy ever since.

During the emergency, Tom was evacuated to the hospital. He was not worried by the sudden nighttime evacuation, rather he felt safe during the emergency. He was confident in the decisions being made.

RD: Surprisingly perhaps, the flood opened up a wider world for Tom . . .

RT: That’s right. The flood had a big impact on Tom because it allowed him to feel part of an important community event that extended beyond the rest home.

"Well I have been through a lot of experiences in my life and that [the flood] is one of them that I will never forget, because I was in the war and I saw things there, and when I compare them, this flood stands out."

He added, "I’ve been very lucky in my life and saw a lot of my mates killed and all that, and this is something I will always think about: how lucky I was, and here I am today."

RD: So what did you learn about older people in disaster situations?

RT: I was struck by their resilience. The findings suggest that a lifetime of experience provides resources for psychological resilience rather than vulnerability.

I also gained valuable insights into how older adults use their past experiences and their sense of personal identity to deal with challenge and change.

Take Brenda, for example. She saw herself as a self-sufficient woman. She had been through a previous flood. True, she didn’t feel she had handled the recent flood as well as the earlier one, but she evacuated herself and she had insurance. So, as she explained, she was not "shattered" by the event.

Similarly, Tom used his wartime experiences and his identity as an engaged older adult to make sense of the flood and to demonstrate interest in a world beyond the home.

The study also highlights the need for practical and social support in disaster situations.

The rest home residents’ stories reflected the importance of being protected and cared for during the evacuation

All the community-dwelling older adults received assistance to find temporary accommodation. They also received financial welfare assistance to replace household items if they did not have insurance

The findings also point to the need for ongoing support during the recovery phase. Kaye is a case in point. At the time of the interview, she was dealing with a current concern related to the flood – an expensive electricity account that was incorrect. She was very grateful for the advocacy support she received to deal with the problem.

New research suggests a spiritual orientation could be a source of strength for some women in later life.

The study by Lydia Manning from Miami University (Oxford, Ohio) is based on data from interviews with eight pagan women, aged 43 to 68 years. Five had been practicing paganism for 25 years; two for more than 10 years; and one was new to the practice. Seven of the participants were wives and mothers, and one had never married.

The study found the women were attracted to paganism because it:

• emphasizes natured-based spirituality;
• lacks institutional structures;
• encourages diversity; and
• supports personal development throughout life.

The findings appeared online in the Journal of Aging Studies (Sept. 22, 2011).

Croning ritual

All participants incorporated aspects of the Goddess or the Divine Feminine in their beliefs. In paganism, women’s development encompasses three stages: maiden, mother and crone.

Five of the women had croning rituals to mark their passage into elderhood.

"Croning" ceremonies can be adapted to suit each individual. The ritual also includes some common elements such as:

sharing life stories;

gift-giving; and

marking age as entry into a wisdom stage of life.

Here’s how one participant described her croning:

The way I look at the wisdom years really starts at the second Saturn cycle, so I figured out when that was and I had the ceremony at that time. I divided up my life into eight phases, like the phases of Saturn and I saw the theme for each phase. What I did, I picked out the important things that happened at each phase and then saw what the overlying theme was. I actually made a booklet and people could look through that if they wanted. . . .

Most of the people at my croning knew me already; most were pagans a few weren’t. So, I talked about them too and how they made a difference in my life. I had them all bring some thoughts about what they thought wisdom was and how it was working in their lives . . .

Celebrating the crone

According to the participants, the crone archetype offers women a positive image of aging, in contrast to society’s negative images.

Well, it does help that we have a Crone Goddess. A human image that we can recognize as the divine and that other people around us in our groups recognize as divine. It’s like we’re not just invisible and non-represented in spiritual life, which older women are often neglected all together in other religions and society for that matter, there’s just nothing for them to identify with. It helps to know as you change and age, you can identify with divinity.

As well, becoming a crone helped individual women to accept the aging process, especially their aging body.

Becoming a crone has been a pathway that has helped me with who and what I am . . . accepting the changes of life and definitely with my body. That’s a big thing; accepting change is not just all this or all that, it’s a process. The longer I’m a crone the more comfortable aging feels.

Power of spiritual practice

The findings suggest that a spiritual practice, such as paganism, could be a source of strength for some women in later life. Manning emphasized that a spiritual orientation helped these women embrace aging, turning it from an experience of dread to one of celebration and connection.

From dance to cinema, painting to theatre, Bealtaine-time celebrates creativity in older age.

The Bealtaine festival takes place across Ireland in May each year (Bealtaine is Gaelic for the month of May).

According to Aging & Opportunity, the sponsoring organization, the 2010 arts festival attracted more than 100,000 participants, who attended 2500 events organized by more than 500 partners.

The events are organized by older adults, arts officers, librarians, artists and health-care workers. The festival also harnesses contributors from small community groups, retirement associations, residential care settings and public libraries.

Some programs, like writing and visual arts, are long-term, taking place throughout the year and from year to year. Others are one-off activities, such as a drama workshop, offered during the festival.

Bealtaine gets thumbs up

In a recent report, the festival garnered rave reviews from participants across the country.

The evaluative study was carried out by Eamon O’Shea and Áine Ní Léime of the National University of Ireland in Galway. The research appeared online in the journal Ageing & Society (July 22, 2011).

Older adults said the festival:

• nurtures personal development;
• enhances quality of life;
• fosters social interaction; and
• builds community.

Bealtaine nurtures personal development

Participants talked about learning new skills and even discovering hidden talents.

"I have to say I have found my voice since joining this group," a member of the writer’s group noted.

One long-time closet writer found the courage to admit in public that he had written before: "You would be kind of ashamed to say you were writing. I have heard this from other people who say the same."

Another respondent remarked, "Becoming part of a craft can help you develop your ideas."

Significantly, older adults said the opportunity to showcase their talents in a public forum boosted their confidence and had a positive effect on their self-esteem.

Bealtaine enhances quality of life

Eighty-six per cent of participants said the festival had improved their quality of life.

One member of an intergenerational project stressed the importance of having something to look forward to:

It gave me a new lease of life. I’m a widow and I live alone and it was marvellous to have something to get out for – to get involved in and then to forget your pains and aches and get completely immersed in the whole thing.

Along the same line, another participant said his art reduced anxieties about his health:

I probably think about the art more than I think about my health. If you keep worrying about yourself, you’re going to get something anyway so that in itself is a good thing.

Finally, a visual artist described the psychological boost she derived from completing a painting:

You’re getting out of the house and you’ve something always to look forward to and then in the evenings I can paint away for a few hours and it makes life a lot easier to live if you have interests. I think what kills people is lack of interest . . . I’m happy in myself because being creative gives you so much satisfaction. . . . It gives you a sense of well-being if you do a good painting or if you do a good piece of sculpture with clay.

Bealtaine fosters social interaction

A huge number – 95 per cent of participants – credited Bealtaine with broadening their social networks.

"My life would be very lonely without Bealtaine," a member of the writer’s group explained. "I have Bealtaine friends – we meet every Friday – this group wouldn’t exist without Bealtaine."

Other participants reported meeting friends, locally and across the county, who shared similar interests, whether singing or organizing.

Bealtaine also forged bonds with groups isolated in the past such as people in long-term care.

"I suppose it has broken down the walls of the hospital," one hospital worker and Bealtaine organizer explained. "It has opened it up and it has involved everybody, especially the community."

Bealtaine builds community

A striking 87 per cent of participants reported greater community involvement, thanks to Bealtaine. Some said they had joined community groups and even engaged in fund-raising activities for these organizations. Others talked about getting to know younger people in their area for the first time.

On the downside, the study found only 20 per cent of older people in Ireland get to experience Bealtaine. Participation rates among men generally and very old women are particularly low across a range of arts activities. On the upside, participation rates have increased annually since the festival’s inception in 1996.

Aging and the arts

According to the study, Bealtaine fosters a sense of personal identity, competence and connectivity among participants at the national and local levels.

Specifically, it promotes the involvement of older adults in the arts as:

• audience members;
• creators;
• participants;
• organizers; and
• decision makers.

As well, the festival contributes to the visibility of older people, highlighting their talents and showcasing their contribution to community life.

New policy

The authors stress that additional investment in participatory arts programs for older adults is likely to yield public health benefits in the future.

They urged policy makers to adopt a new health-enhancing framework for older people that includes a national policy for the arts in older age.

ELDERS JOIN OCCUPY WALL STREET: The Council of Elders, a newly organized independent group of elder leaders, has expressed its solidarity with the Occupy Wall Street movement. Among them is:

• Dolores Huerta, co-founder with Cesar Chavez of the United Farm Workers;
• Marian Wright Edelman, the first Black woman admitted to the Mississippi Bar; and
• writer Sister Joan Chittister, author of The Gift of Years.

On Nov. 20, 2011, the group joined demonstrators in several U.S. cities for an “Intergenerational Day.”

 

SEE YOU AT THE CRAFT CAFÉ: Commonly, housing associations organize social activities for older residents, and with good reason.

The Craft Café in Glasgow’s Castlemilk’s housing estate is a thriving social network. The café is funded by Cassiltoun Housing Association and run by the community arts company Impact Arts. Anyone over the age of 50 can drop in to the café and try their hand at:

• drawing;
• painting;
• sewing;
• knitting;
• card making;
• silk painting;
• sculpture; and
• jewellery making.

The place is bustling with activity. According to the staff, local physicians routinely refer their older patients to the café.

Recent work is displayed on the walls and propped against cupboards. The organizers want to partner with a professional gallery to create a formal exhibition for participants.

“I’ve always loved art,” says Hugh Fox, a 69-year-old café regular.” I won a competition when I was a boy and the painting went into an art gallery. Later I worked as a school janitor and in the school at night after I was done I used to paint, and the teachers used to steal them.”

Source: guardian.co.uk

 

PLANNING FOR LIFE WITHOUT THE CAR: Olive Bryanton and her colleagues interviewed 11 women from one county on Prince Edward Island. Participants were in their 80s and evenly split between rural and city settings. The women never thought they would need to stop driving, say researchers from the University of Prince Edward Island.

In hindsight, participants say they would have welcomed a program to help them plan for life after driving, but none was available.

Some of the women developed unique strategies to help maintain their independence:

• one kept her car and hired a couple of neighbours to drive her;
• another sold her car at a reduced price to a family member who agreed to provide transportation; and
• another explored taxi fees and set up an account so she did not have to pay each time she used the taxi.

The researchers reported their findings at the 40^th Annual Scientific and Educational Meeting & Pan Am Congress in Ottawa (Oct. 21-23, 2011).

 

MEMOIRS ARE MADE OF THIS: Are you planning to write your memoir and looking for inspiration to get started? The Memoir Writing Club may be for you.

Writer and photographer Irene Graham has been helping people write their memoirs for 20 years.

Perhaps you are you intimated by the idea of writing a whole book? Graham has just the idea for you. She calls it mini-memoir. In this format, writers focus on one particular incident or experience in their lives.

Here are some exercises from the author to help you kick-start your memories:

• Who was your best friend at school? Why? What was the biggest mischief you got up to together?
• Think about the best pet you ever had. How did that pet affect your life? What were their three good points and bad points? What adventures did you have together?
• What was your favourite home? Why? Where was it?

 

In this November / December 2011 Issue

Interview: Our Fear of Forgetting

Studies: Grandparents are the Best

Interview: Retirement: Recovering a Sense of Wonder

Report: The Last Taboo

 

Roundup:

• The Best Gran in the Land
• Send in the Flute and Yayli Tanbur
• Teens Help Older Adults Move Online
• Never Think Things Are Over

As we clock up the years, moments of forgetfulness can trigger feelings of dread – dread of impending memory loss.

A new study by Stephen Katz (with Simon J. Williams and Paul Higgs) examines cognitive decline against the backdrop of an emerging neuroculture. It explores the shifting boundaries between standards of normality and abnormality, and practices of therapy and enhancement. It also sheds light on how modern science is recasting the older brain.

Dr. Stephen Katz is an award-winning scholar and leading thinker in the field of gerontology. He is a professor in the department of sociology at Trent University in Peterborough, Ontario.

Katz is author of the groundbreaking book Cultural Aging: Life Course, Lifestyle, and Senior Worlds (University of Toronto Press). His study appeared online in the journal Sociology of Health & Illness (June 20, 2011).

AHB reached Dr. Katz at Trent University in Peterborough.

Ruth Dempsey: Some experts are talking about "an epidemic of anxiety around memory loss". What’s going on?

Stephen Katz: I think there are three factors to consider here. First, the population is aging and the longevity curve is stretching out, with both processes creating new health and social issues. So, memory loss and other normal cognitive changes associated with aging are becoming more familiar, but so is dementia.

Second, as chronological and traditional markers of aging lose their status, others are taking their place, cognitive decline in particular. In other words, one of the most poignant markers today of the slide from an active later life to dependent old age is cognitive decline. So, our fear of memory loss is understandable.

And, third, memory in our society has become a vital resource in itself. The computer is our central model of intelligence with its unfailing and increasingly larger storage capacities. Recall memory is also important to consumerism, the military and productivity. This is one reason why Stephen Post says we live in a hypercognitive society. So, again, memory loss creates legitimate anxiety.

RD: Older adults seek help for the kind of day-to-day forgetfulness that once was considered normal.

SK: This is an important point, where do we draw the line between memory loss as normal and as pathological?

Historically, senility was considered normal to old age; it was a non-medicalized and rather acceptable problem. There was no cure and no hope for it.

At the turn of the century, when Alois Alzheimer began working with young patients, who showed symptoms of severe memory loss and other conditions akin to senility, he rightly concluded that these were pathological because of the patient’s age.

However, beginning in the 1970s, especially as Alzheimer’s Disease as a medical category became the label for dementia for all age groups, senility began to be seen as an outmoded idea.

Over time, more aspects of memory loss were deemed to be pathological rather than normal, until today we have new categories such as Mild Cognitive Impairment as a medical problem.

Researchers, such as Anne Davis Basting and Peter J. Whitehouse, have raised concerns about the medicalization of memory loss and the impact on patient care. Whitehouse says, "We owe it to those who have aging brains not to reduce their humanity to one organ." A mantra to abide by.

RD: Around the globe, research centres and commercial companies are teaming up to nab a piece of the booming brain fitness market.

SK: This is true. More and more, we see cognitive health and exercise included with physical health and exercise.

Does anything really work to reverse cognitive decline? Probably not and certainly nothing so far. Yet, there are dozens of pharmaceutical companies with trials underway because any drug that even promises the vaguest hope of brain-protection would be highly profitable.

What is rarely understood, however, is that cognitive health is boosted through socializing and interacting with others. Many studies have demonstrated how social engagement is the way in which memories are established, enjoyed and embellished.

RD: Today, brain health is seen as an individual accomplishment – something to be worked at – but you argue cognitive well-being is a broader social issue. How so?

SK: Cognitive health, like any other kind of health, has a social foundation. For example, social inequalities have consequences for cognitive health in ways we are only just beginning to understand:

• poor working conditions;
• environmental degradation;
• industrialized food;
• trauma and violence;
• overexposure to electronic devices; and
• the long-term effects of certain medications.

Society also shapes our expectations and the way we prioritize certain kinds of cognitive skills over others. In large part, we tend either to misunderstand or simplify the complexity of real cognitive processes. For example, we assume that cognition can be artificially "enhanced", but why? Where did we get this idea that cognition is "enhance-able"?

RD: The study paints a fragmented picture of old age. For instance, it says contemporary society distinguishes between active independent older adults and those who are frail and dependent. Why is that?

SK: There are many reasons. We could look at economic, moral, political and cultural reasons, for example.

But much of it comes down to gerontology itself: to concepts like "successful aging," an accomplishment marked by what you list – active, healthy, self-reliant and independent. Which means that "unsuccessful aging" is the reverse: decline, dependency and decrepitude.

The problem is the social and political realities underlying these seemingly obvious distinctions are spawned by individualized lifestyles of aging. In other words, neoliberal society has placed such value on the individual to be independent, responsible, risk-managing and devoted to health and fitness, so that anything short of these looks like personal failure.

Yet, this same society is the one voting for increasingly conservative governments that cut supports and augment the social inequality and marginalization of older persons.

Our society also tends to hide the realities of aging, not only out of fear, but because they are contrary to the youth-based ethics of consumerism.

RD: So where does this leave frail old people in the future?

SK: There will be more frail old people in the future so their voice and conditions of life will become more visible and politically charged.

And the future is not fate. So, despite the warnings of the doom-and-gloom demographers, there are inventive ways of including and acknowledging the frail old. For one thing, we can urge our communities and governments to boost age-friendly and supportive environments because we see where this happens, care-giving becomes less isolated and more integrated into the social fabric of everyday life, where it belongs.

RD: Finally, the fear mongering about memory loss casts a shadow over old age. What can be done about it?

SK: We are already doing something about it – movies, books, new schools and programs, new forms of artistic expression.

And rethinking humanity itself in the "shadow of dementia". We have a great deal to learn, all of us, about life itself by being in touch with those with cognitive loss, we not only learn to care but we learn about resilience, courage, imagination, compensation and small everyday triumphs.

What can be done about it, in other words, is to change the way we think and relate.

Editor’s note: Discover this author’s favourite image of aging. You might be surprised. See AHB May/June 2007.

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. – Welsh Proverb

In both Canada and the United States, new studies show that grandparents are proving to be a haven of support for their children and grandchildren.

Grandma, can you spare me a grand?

As the United States struggles with the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression, a new study by MetLife Mature Market Institute produced in conjunction with demographer Peter Francese shows grandparents spending large sums of money on:

• infant food;
• children’s clothing and equipment;
• toys, games and tricycles;
• primary and secondary school tuition; and
• school supplies.

Other findings from The MetLife Report on American Grandparents: New Insights for a New Generation of Grandparents:

• today’s grandparents are more likely to be college graduates and employed than at any time in the past;
• consumer spending of households headed by those ages 55 or older has been rising at rates well above inflation and faster than any other age group;
• an estimated 4.5 million grandparent-headed households include one or more grandchildren; and
• by 2020, it is estimated there will be 80 million grandparents in the United States or one in three adults.

Strengthening bonds with adult grandchildren

How do grandparents keep in touch with their grandchildren after they leave home?

A new study by Canadian researchers has found that grandparents use family leisure activities to cement bonds with their adult grandchildren. Shannon Hebblethwaite and Joan Norris reported details of their study in the February 2011 issue of the journal Family Relations.

Both generations engaged in a wide variety of activities including:

• family vacations;
• holiday celebrations;
• cooking;
• shopping; and
• gardening.

Grandparents said they used time with their grandchildren to:

• share personal experiences and life lessons;
• pass on family stories and a sense of family history;
• model the importance of family cohesion;
• teach the "the value of a dollar;" and
• teach camping, sailing and gardening skills.

According to the study, these leisure activities promoted common interests and fostered a dynamic interplay between the generations with grandparents reporting they learned as much from their grandchildren as they taught.

People retiring today are entering a new stage of life, which could last 20, 30 or more years.

"The challenge in retirement is to combine the fruits of maturity with the recovery of childhood wonder," says George Vaillant, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development.

This challenge, and what to do about it, is at the heart of Happily Retired: What Works . . . What Doesn’t (Polygon Consulting) by Canadian authors Julie Chahal and Linda Lucas. The 150-page volume maps the psychological and social geography of the retirement years, and it shows there is more than one way to "do" retirement.

AHB reached co-author Julie Chahal in Ottawa, Ontario.

Ruth Dempsey: What inspired you to write about retirement?

Julie Chahal: I retired quite young. Too often, retirement is linked to the concept of aging, rather than the idea of freedom and a new life chapter. I learned the hard way, by stumbling into every retirement pitfall and working my way back out again. I could have done with a close friend or a resource like Happily Retired to give me some direction. Other people have told me the same thing.

Co-author Linda Lucas knew there was an audience for the book. Linda noticed most retirement books focused on financial planning and retirement communities. She had already taken care of the basics. She was looking for advice on getting the most out of this stage of life. In other words, exploring the possibilities retirement had to offer.

The great gift of retirement is freedom. The challenge is to figure out what to do with that freedom.

RD: How does life change after retirement?

JC: Work takes up a lot of space in our lives. Also, in this society, our identity comes from the work we do. Work structures our day and provides a steady stream of challenges and learning opportunities. It offers opportunities for easy socializing with colleagues and provides a sense of relevance and achievement.

When it ends, we have to do all of this for ourselves. Many accomplished individuals actually dread retirement for this reason.

RD: So retirees are forced to create a new roadmap . . .

JC: That’s right. In the book, we use Martin Seligman’s "happiness formula" as a tool to get people thinking. Seligman is the founder of Positive Psychology. The formula consists of three ingredients: pleasure, engagement and meaning. We believe these same ingredients are essential to a vibrant retirement.

The formula gave us a natural structure for our ideas. In the book, we devote a chapter to each of the themes. For example, in Finding Pleasure, we explore how pleasure enhances our ability to experience the world and we introduce the "Fun-o-meter" exercise.

The chapter on engagement points to fresh options: new work settings, volunteering, nurturing friendships and pursuing hobbies.

And the chapter on meaning focuses on inward journeys and reaching out to the community.

RD: Retirement is unique for each person . . .

JC: This is an important point. For much of our lives, society and biology dictate a lot of our priorities, coaxing us into assembly line conformity. With retirement comes the freedom to explore our interests and discover what we are passionate about, perhaps for the first time.

Sculptors talk about their creations emerging from a block of marble or wood. They start with rough cuts and slowly remove extraneous material, often revealing a work of art that even surprises the sculptor.

Retirement is the stage of life for refining and polishing ourselves. The result is some very interesting people.

RD: You say some pruning may be in order.

JC: Yes, pruning is about cutting back and reshaping in order to foster new and healthier growth. Having left the workforce, you may feel the need to reflect on other aspects of your life. Indeed, now may be the time to discard old habits, tired beliefs, unwanted possessions and even relationships that deplete your energy but offer little in return.

Think of pruning as a tool to help you steer clear of common retirement traps, such as over-scheduling and busy work. These leave little time for spontaneity and risk taking.

Also, I think few of us acknowledge just how much we change as we grow older. The things that matter to us change. Our interests change. Unexpected opportunities arise.

Regular pruning removes the deadwood and makes room for new growth.

RD: Happily Retired is brimming with practical ideas. How does the "gratitude journal" work?

JC: Keeping a gratitude journal is a great way to boost your spirits. The process is simple. You just jot down five things for which you are grateful each day. Make sure not to miss a day. This simple practice can make an amazing difference to your outlook. In fact, researchers have confirmed that taking the time to consciously count your blessings can significantly increase overall life satisfaction.

RD: I like the way you end each chapter with reflections from the authors . . .

JC: Thank you. We share a common commitment to the ideas in the book, but we are at various stages of implementing them in our lives.

The reflections allowed us to keep our message real. We also thought drawing on examples from our personal stories might resonate with the reader and spark a similar moment of reflection.

RD: You write: "Traditionally, the elders of a society were valued for their wisdom." Can you give me an example?

JC: I’ve worked as a volunteer on a number of projects with First Nation communities. With each exposure, I was struck by the profound respect accorded their elders and how the elders rise to the high expectations of them.

The Mi’kmaq have a special ceremony to induct a "traditional grandmother" to her place of honor and responsibility. In these communities, older adults recognize their lives continue to have meaning after they retire. I find this inspiring.

RD: Finally, what is one thing that works in retirement and one thing that doesn’t?

JC: A spirit of adventure works. Willingness to be a beginner and play can lead to wonderful discoveries.

For example, I like to make lists of things I’m pretty sure I can’t do, and then I check to see if I’m wrong. One of the items on my list was writing a book! Currently, I’m taking singing lessons. I’m embarrassingly bad, but improving enough to enjoy the music.

Getting stuck in a rut doesn’t work. This can happen when we overwhelm ourselves with too much of one kind of activity. Frequent culprits include golf, bridge and travel. In the right measure, all of these activities can add magic to our lives, but too much of them may dampen our spirits.

Editor’s note: The original interview appeared in AHB July/August 2009.